It’s the weekend! Time to take to the woods and dance naked around the fire until the spirit of Pan infuses your very being. Or you could watch these great films. Your call.
Saturday
The Martian Film4 21.00
Utterly unbelievable. Matt Damon’s meant to be a martian, but he doesn’t have a flying saucer. He’s not even green! The whole thing just falls apart when you think about it.
Shaun of the Dead ITV2 21.00
I got some hair clippers, and now I’m Shorn of the Head!
Been waiting for this film to come up since May.
Philadelphia Sony Movies Classic 11.45
Oscar-winning classic about cream cheese.
Sunday
Bridge Over the River Kwai Paramount Network 21.00
Man builds bridge. Other man blows up bridge. Everyone goes home.
Features unnecessary amount of whistling.
The Beach Sony Movies 21.00
Leonardo DiCaprio is handsome on a beach. Dreadful foreigners try to stop him.
Space Jam ITV2 15.05
Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan team up to invent something for astronauts to put on their toast.
Netflix Film of the Weekend
Road House
Greatest film ever made. Film of this weekend and every weekend.
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