US President Donald Trump has ordered an urgent investigation into the so-called ‘dinosaur auction’ that took place towards the end of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.
“I tell you, I was shocked, very shocked, when I saw that dinosaurs were being auctioned off in California.
“Some of the dinosaurs even escaped. That’s the life that the Democrats and sleepy Joe want for America. A world where dinosaurs can just wander free into suburbia and eat Americans.
“Well, I, Donald Trump, promise that I will do everything in my power to put a stop to illegal dinosaur auctions.”
Mr Trump then ordered the FBI to investigate everyone involved in the auction.
“This is going to be one of the more difficult investigations I’ve been tasked with carrying out,” explained Agent Stewart James.
“After all, the events in question were fictional, as were all the witnesses to the events. Which will make them very difficult to interview.
“On the other hand, my son has the Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom DVD which has a pretty-good ‘making-of’ documentary, so I’m hoping that will give us some considerable insight into events.”
It is understood that Mr Trump had been following events around Isla Nublar closely but it was only when the action moved to US soil that he felt able to act.
“I will make it a cornerstone of my second term as President to wipe out all traces of dinosaurs and dinosaur auctions from this country. No more will Americans be at risk from being mauled by giant death-lizards.”
Following the announcement, Mr Trump signed an executive order banning all dinosaur auctions unless they were licenced through the newly established and fully independent ‘Trump Dinosaur Auction Consultancy’
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