It’s the weekend. You could pop to the pub, but it’ll just be full of dreary men saying that the beer is quite ‘hoppy’ like that’s a thing.
Best plan is to lie on the sofa eating mini Kievs and watching one of these top films.
Friday
Love Actually ITV2 21.00
PM gets off with the staff. Rick Grimes stalks her off Pirates of the Caribbean. Everything sorts it out at the end because Christmas.
Speed ITV4 23.10
Dennis Hopper invents innovative way getting through LA traffic.
Sicario GREAT! Movies 21.00
Larks a plenty as wacky mismatched gang travel to Mexico, get in scrapes and have a lovely old time.
Saturday
Captain America: Winter Soldier BBC1 22.35
Winter? Christmas film, mate. Must be. Ho ho ho.
War for the Planet of the Apes Channel 4 23.25
Spiritual sequel to Any Which Way But Loose sees Clyde rise up and take over the world after years of riding around in a crappy truck with a grumpy cowboy.
A Bridge too Far Paramount 17.40
Silly Soldiers accidentally build a bridge all the way to Finland, which is far too far.
Sunday
The Abyss Film4 17.55
Underwater aliens get cranky and threaten to destroy the world. Tbf, I’m on their side, what with all the micro-plastics and whatnot.
Fatal Attraction GREAT! Movies 21.00
Man owns rabbit with terrifying consequences. Been a while since I saw it, but don’t they end up having sex on the washing up? The eighties. Weird.
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