UK sick leave is expected to reach crisis levels in late April as Avengers: Endgame is released into cinemas across the country.
Firms are bracing themselves for a huge surge in absence from April 25th; the movie’s official release date.
“It’s definitely an HR department’s worst nightmare,” said a senior HR representative at Downey and Hemsworth Solutions Ltd.
“Avengers: Endgame in cinemas? In April? It’s going to pretty much cripple production for the second quarter.
“I mean, the problem is that we can’t really compete. Do you come into an office that’s either far too hot or far too cold, enter a load of numbers into a spreadsheet that no one understands and will never be read, or do you and your mates pack your face with Nandos before sitting in the cinema for three hours watching superheroes duff up a purple bastard.”
The firm was already making contingency plans.
“Yeah, we’re going to start bringing in temps to cover the sick leave.
“Actually, to be honest, we’re going to have to bring in temps to deal with the administration of sick leave.”
It is currently thought that April 28th, the Monday after the release of Avengers: Endgame, will be the least productive day in the UK since everyone found out about Doodle Jump.
But the economy should be fine, provided Thanos gets what’s coming to him.
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