Superhero not convinced sidekick funny enough

A popular superhero has made public his concerns that his sidekick might not really be amusing enough to continue in his role.

Cabbage-man was bitten by a radioactive cabbage last year, and consequently he developed the powers of a cabbage.

Ever since that day, he has sworn to use his cabbage-powers to fight crime with the help of faithful friend and sidekick – Jeff.

“Look, I love Jeff, I really do,” said Cabbage-man.

“But, really, I was expecting him to be much funnier.

“I mean, frankly, if he’s not coming out with sarcastic one-liners or wry takes on my heroics, then it’s hard to see what he’s bringing to the table, if I’m honest.

“At this stage, I’d settle for some old-fashioned slapstick. Anything really.”

Sidekick Jeff was quick to hit back.

“I’m doing my best,” he said.

“I mean, only last week, he threw a guy into some boiling water and I went – ‘he’s letting off steam, now’ – alright, I got it off Commando, but I’m trying, you know?”

“We can’t all be bitten by a radioactive cabbage.”

However, Cabbage-man was unconvinced

“I know he’s trying, and that’s great, it really is, but recycling old Arnie lines? It’s not really good enough, is it?

Cabbage-man revealed that he has a plan to resolve the situation.

“Well, I’ve recently discovered Dr Coleslaw’s lair, and I’m planning on taking him down next Tuesday, just after Queer Eye, I love that show.

“So, I’ll give Jeff one last chance, and if he doesn’t come out with at least one real zinger, then I’m going to see if Jim Belushi is free.”