A woman who yesterday managed to complete Wordle on her first guess has told of how a mysterious black monolith appeared overnight.
“Lord knows what on earth the bloody thing is,” said Kelly Grace, a cat auditor from Chelmsford.
“It was just suddenly there.”
The black monolith is about ten feet tall, three feet wide and four inches deep. It appeared in Mrs Grace’s Garden just next to a pond that she’d had dug last Autumn. When approached, choral singing can be heard.
“Does my bloody head in. Horrible ugly thing, ruins the view of my pond, and when I find that bloody choir, they’re going out on their ear, that’s for starters. Horrible bloody racket.”
As yet, the monolith seems to serve no purpose.
“Makes my garden look like a big pile of balls, is what purpose it bloody serves. I wish I’d never shared that Wordle thing now. If I’d known some mystical force was going to deposit a horrible big monolith in my garden, I’d have just shown Geoff what I’d done and gone back to watching Homes Under the Hammer.”
There is some speculation that by completing a Wordle puzzle with just one guess, Mrs Grace has triggered a new stage of human evolution, and the monolith has appeared to mark this new dramatic advancement of humankind.
“I haven’t got time to evolve to a new plain of human existence, or whatever,” protested Mrs Grace.
“I’ve got an audit report to finish, then I’ve got to get the kids’ tea ready. They’re just going to have to find someone else to do their bloody evolving.”
It is expected that, unless Mrs Grace evolves by Saturday, the monolith will disappear when she watches Mrs Brown’s Boys.
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