Sandi Toksvig has sensationally quit Great British Bake-off with a view to replacing Daniel Craig as James Bond.
Although, so far, Toksvig has only announced her resignation from Bake-off, but the fact that the announcement comes just two short months after Craig declared that No Time To Die would be his last Bond Film would seem to indicate her intention to step into the dapper spy’s dinner suit.
“Look, everyone knows that Sandi Toksvig would make a brilliant James Bond,” said Stewart James, a man who drinks in a pub round the corner from Pinewood Studios, so knows what’s what in the world of British film.
“She’s got that intelligence that she brings to the screen. You’d see her as James Bond and go – that’s fine, she’ll definitely figure out who’s at the top of the international conspiracy to short the world cheese market to such an extent that cheese becomes the most valuable commodity on the planet.”
Whilst casting a 61-year-old lesbian mother would answer any criticisms about James’ Bond’s lack of diversity, the producers did go on record recently as saying that the character of James Bond could never be a woman.
“Yeah, but that’s before Toksvig became available,” continued Mr James, slightly slurring his words.
“Trust me, they’ll make Sandi Toksvig James Bond, be mad not to.”
It is expected that Bake-off producers will announce Daniel Craig as Sandi Toksvig’s replacement in an innovative swap-deal.
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