Rumour: Will the next Doctor Who be Bananarama?

With Jodie Whittaker expected to announce she will be stepping down; speculation is rife about who exactly will be the next Doctor Who.

Currently, the somewhat surprising favourite to replace Whittaker is 80’s girl group Bananarama.

“Jodie was an absolutely terrific Doctor, but she didn’t really have much of a back-catalogue of banging 80s pop hits, which could sometimes hamper episodes,” said Stewart James, Professor of Doctor Who at Oxford University.

“Bananarama, on the other hand, have hits from Venus to Cruel, Cruel Summer. So, if any Doctor Who stories called for, say, the Doctor to perform a space-pop concert to distract the Daleks from invading Planet Earth, then Bananarama are going to be perfect.”

If Bananarama were to win the role, it would be the first time that the Doctor would be played by more than one person. However, the timelord mythology does allow for such a situation.

“Well, yes. The Doctor has two hearts. Two sets of internal organs, really,” explained Professor James.

“So, in many ways, having the character only played by one person actually doesn’t really make sense. If Bananarama were to take on the role, then Sara and Keren would simply take on a set of internal organs each, which is much more logical.”

However, despite Bananarama being a hugely popular choice amongst sensible people, there remains a small corner of the internet that is terrified of women who are against such a plan.

“Ugh, girls are smelly,” tweeted @meninininism, “two girls would be twice as smelly. If Bananarama are the new Doctor Who then I’m going to hide in my room and make Mum bring me all my dinners.”

According to bookies, Bananarama are the current favourites to be the next Doctor Who at 3/2. They are closely followed, however, by former Home Secretary Amber Rudd at 4/1 and Italian football legend Francesco Totti at 6/1.