Robert Pattinson to lead expedition to the centre of the earth

Batman star Robert Pattinson has surprised fans with news that he will be taking a sabbatical from the movie business to lead an expedition to the centre of the earth.

As well as being a highly-regarded actor, Pattinson is a well-known scientist and inventor who has long posited that there is more under the earth’s surface than rock and magma.

“It is my contention that beneath humanity’s feet lie fantastical worlds and strange creatures,” he wrote in Royal Society paper, shortly before ousted for being for too handsome to do science.

The catalyst to launching his own expedition came in the form of a message that had been left in the script to his latest hit movie – The Batman – from fellow scientist and explorer Christian Bale.

“It seems my esteemed colleague, Professor Bale had found a passage to the centre of the earth through a dormant volcano in Iceland,” explained Pattison.

“As he has not been heard from since Ford vs Ferrari last year, I fear he has attempted a journey to the centre of the earth and become trapped somewhere. I must find him.”

Pattinson’s expedition will consist of twelve stout and true men, including Daniel Radcliffe and a noted big game hunter – Colonel Abraham Bumptious.

“I consider it to be most unlikely that all the dinosaurs were eradicated following the devastating meteor-strike some years ago,” continued Pattinson.

“I believe that some of the more intelligent creatures will have taken refuge in caves under the ground where they may well have thrived in the centuries that have passed. Colonel Bumptious’ experience amongst the world’s more savage is certain to keep us safe.

“Radcliffe’s just there to carry my effects.”

Although the news of Pattinson’s journey to the centre of the earth does seem surprising, he does have experience in exploration.

In 2018 he travelled 20000 under the sea to defeat Captain Nemo, shortly before he made the acclaimed High Life with Claire Denis.