Yeah, man. Star Wars. Totally awesome, I used to have, like, Star Wars figures when I was a kid and I made this space palace out of an old Frosties box.
Luke and Leia were, like, totally the Prince and Princess of space and they had their space throne and space sofa and space bed, and they’d go to their space bed and, you know, have amazing space sex.
Sometimes Chewbacca would come in, and Leia would be all ‘ooh, Chewbacca, I’ve always been curious about space sex with a big hairy man,’ and Luke would go ‘oh, what, but I’m totally hairy man, check out my moustache,’ and Leia would be ‘no way, man, that’s a rubbish moustache, come on Chewbacca, let’s do space sex.’
Then Luke would sit outside being totally sad, and that’s when Darth Vader would find him and be all like ‘What’s happening, man?’ and Luke would be ‘yeah, it’s my girlfriend, man. She’s gone off with a wookie, because he’s this big dude with, you know, a great beard and moustache and everything.’
So then, Darth Vader would be like ‘Chill, Luke. Come with me’ and they’d both go off together and key Chewbacca’s flash new spaceship.
Luke sort of felt guilty about keying the spaceship, but looking back, Chewbacca totally deserved it, so up yours you, like, total wookie tool, man.
This film isn’t like that though. It’s alright.
Screen Idle star rating *** – Chewbacca man. What a bastard.
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