Up to seven ‘Shakespeare’ plays actually written by Kenneth Branagh

‘Out, out, damned spot,’ ‘Alas poor Yorick, I knew him well,’ ’Now is the winter of our discontent’ – some of the most iconic lines in theatre, but new evidence has emerged that these weren’t, as many people believed, written by William Shakespeare in the 1600s but were, in fact, written by Kenneth Branagh to bolster his flagging film career in the 1980s.

In 1985, Branagh was a jobbing actor with little more than a handful of bit-parts in The Bill.

“The thing with Ken, he always wanted to adapt Shakespeare into films,” said Anne Falstaff, an old acquaintance of the famous director.

“But he just found the language really difficult. I remember once him trying to read King Lear and going ‘it’s impossible, it’s all complete gibberish,’ he just couldn’t get his head round it.”

So, when Branagh emerged in 1989 with what he claimed was an adaption of little-known Shakespeare play called Henry V, Anne was surprised.

“Yeah, I mean, I was happy for him. It was his ambition and everything, but I was just so surprised that he’d finally managed to understand Shakespeare.”

However, Anne soon started to suspect something was wrong.

“I’d never heard of Henry V. Ken said it was a sequel to Henry IV, but that seemed unlikely. Surely, they didn’t start doing sequels until Empire Strikes Back.”

Then Branagh dropped the bombshell.

“He was celebrating his Bafta for directing Henry V and was pretty drunk and he just confessed to me – he went ‘I made it all up, the speech, the battles, everything. Don’t tell anyone.”

However, Anne found she could no longer be part of the lie.

“He’s just conning people – Hamlet, As You Like It – he just keeps telling people he’s this brilliant Shakespeare director but they’re all stuff he’s written.

“I mean, Love’s Labour’s Lost? It doesn’t even sound like a Shakespeare title.”

Kenneth Branagh has yet to comment on these allegations but Anne has made a statement to the police, and so it can only be a matter of time before he is arrested and thrown in jail as he so richly deserves.