Paramount admits it’s lost the memory stick with Top Gun: Maverick on

Tom Cruis in an open neck white shirt. Top Gun: Maverick

Paramount has admitted that it has lost the memory stick containing the full Top Gun: Maverick film.

The sequel to one of the most popular films of the eighties was scheduled for release in June 2020 and has been postponed 478 times since then.

“Hands up, we’ve lost the memory stick,” explained Paramount exec Stewart James.

“Jeff had it, but he says that he gave it to Kath, she hasn’t got it and says she’s sure he didn’t give it to her but gave it to Bob instead but Bob says he’s never even seen it.

“Thing is, we don’t have it. I mean, look, it’s one of the company’s biggest ever releases, so it’s bound to turn up somewhere. These things don’t just disappear, do they?”

It was thought that the memory stick had been found just before Christmas.

“Yeah, Jen had got this new winter coat and had been wearing that and then she spilt some wine on it at a party so had to take it into the cleaners and got an old winter coat out and found a thumbstick in a pocket.

“She was all like ‘I’ve found it, I’ve found it!’ But it just turned out to be Space Jam: A New Legacy. Big Whoop. I mean, we released it, but no one was that bothered.”

Mr James gave a reassurance that the film would be released.

“Totally! I’ve got everyone checking the bottom of their bags, because those little thumbsticks, I mean, they’re tiny, aren’t they? Then we’ll check down the back of the sofas, vacuum cleaners. I mean, it’s going to turn up.

“If it doesn’t then, you know, there’ll probably be another Fast and Furious film along soon so people can watch that instead.”


*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’

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