Oppenheimer effects reportedly so realistic, first three rows in cinema will be irradiated

Reports are emerging that the effects in Christopher Nolan’s upcoming Oppenheimer are so realistic that the first three rows in cinemas will be irradiated.

“I have never seen effects quite like this,” said Stewart James, an executive producer, from a hospital that specialises in radiation injuries.

“The atom bomb sequence blew me away. It was literally like being there, then, after a few minutes, I felt this prickly sensation all over my skin, then a rash followed. I was rushed to hospital, but there was too much radiation and it looks like I’ve only got days before my painful and certain death.

“Incredible effects though. You’ve never seen anything like it.”

It was Christopher Nolan himself who has issued a warning to avoid the first three rows.

“These atom bomb effects. They’re very realistic. So, if you can, try and avoid the front three rows in the cinema. They will be exposed to a fatal dose of radiation during the atom bomb sequences,” he said.

“Anything from the fourth row back and you should be fine. I mean, I say ‘fine,’ you’ll still be exposed to quite a lot of radiation so, you know, maybe wear a thick jacket or something.”

The Odeon cinema chain is already offering luxury tickets to screenings that include a radiation suit and a Geiger counter and the Blu-ray release, arriving around Christmas, will come in a lead-lined case.

The film continues Nolan’s rich tradition of films with effects so realistic that they affect the real world, with The Prestige famously causing members of the cinema audience to disappear and Tenet finishing just before it started.