It’s the weekend, and it’s Katie’s birthday. But Katie is awful, she’s terrible, with her stupid hair and her stupid dog. Screw you Katie, screw you and your ‘ironic’ cheese and wine party. I hope you become simultaneously lactose and alcohol intolerant.
On the upside, there’s all these great films to watch.
Friday
Goldeneye ITV4 21.00
Modern update of James Bond in which he blow-dries his hair before objectifying women and going on a killing spree.
The Karate Kid Film4 18.15
Baby goat does martial arts in the eighties.
Th’Olympics Everywhere, all the time
Men and ladies run and jump for your amusement.
Saturday
Road House Channel 5 22.00
Greatest film ever made. The Citizen Kane of films. Much, much more fun than watching all the men and ladies run and jump.
The Bourne Legacy ITV4 21.00
Good Will Hunting beats up baddies with a piece of paper, some hair, and a garden shed.
The Full Monty 5Star 21.00
Plums-out feelgood classic.
Sunday
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire ITV 18.15
Studies have shown that you are never more than ten minutes away from a Harry Potter film on one of the freeview channels near the bottom.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York E4 15.50
Only 146 days till Christmas so why not get in the mood as the sun bakes down outdoors with this festive classic. Ho Ho Ho.
Dangerous Minds 5Star 23.45
Michelle Pfieffer solves gang-violence with the help of Coolio. Thanks Coolio.
Be the first to comment