It’s the weekend! Time to get to work on cloning dinosaurs for your impressive new dinosaur safari park in the shed. But if that sounds like too much bother, just lie on the sofa watching these great films instead.
Friday
Jackie Brown GREAT! Movies 21.00
Everyone says the n-word while Robert DeNiro mumbles. Someone robs someone, someone else shoots someone. Good music I’d expect, but the whole affair goes on for over three hours so you’re welcome to it.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 MTV One 21.00
Grumpy vampires are back again. Quite what poor old Dawn has done to annoy them, I don’t know. You’d best watch the film to find out, I guess.
A Shot in the Dark Film4 16.35
Peter Sellers says ‘Minkey’ a lot and everyone has a lovely old time.
Saturday
The Heat ITV2 21.00
McCarthy and Bullock are a Redford and Newman for our time. Excellent Spanx scene. Say what you like about Dune, I bet it doesn’t have an excellent Spanx scene.
The Untouchables Film4 21.00
Violence, organised crime and murder. The horrifying consequences of Dry January laid bare in Brian de Palma classic.
Snatch ITV4 23.00
Cockney men do cockney things in cockneyland. Oi Oi! ‘Ave it you melts!
Sunday
The Cider House Rules AMC 18.40
It certainly does.
Raiders of the Lost Ark E4 18.45
Man with nice hat successfully has ancient artefact of terrifying power put in warehouse.
French Exit Sky Cinema 20.00
Comedy Drama about a briefly popular form of contraception.
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