Everything in the world is better following the release of a new Christmas advert for John Lewis.
Since the advert made its debut earlier, men and women all over the world have found love in their heart, joy and happiness has spread through all peoples, and Mrs Walpole of Bridlington has found the keys she lost last Thursday.
“I’ll be honest, I was worried for a while there,” said an anonymous UN delegate.
“It seemed that the world was just getting worse – hate, bigotry, violence and pain were everywhere.
“But since the release of a new John Lewis Christmas advert, I think we’re all going to be alright.”
People across the globe are said to be emerging from their homes, blinking, and seeing the world in a new light after viewing the trailer for the first time.
“I don’t know, everything else just seems trivial after that,” said one man in London who was found wandering the streets in a daze, smiling to himself.
“War, famine, man’s inhumanity to man, it simply pales next to a John Lewis Christmas advert.”
As the world’s ills slowly heal, it seems that future generations should take note – sometimes even the greatest divisions can be cured by humanity coming together as one to try and decide if this year’s John Lewis Christmas advert is better than last year’s John Lewis Christmas advert.
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