New free-to-play game just huge pile of loot chests that cost 79p to open

A brand new free-to-play game has been announced that is just an infinitely huge pile of loot chests that each cost 79p to open.

The game promises to strip away the confusing ‘gameplay’ aspects of games and the time-consuming ‘fun’ feature. This will leave the player the most basic essence of games – paying 79p to open up a chest full of things you don’t need.

“People now are really busy, they don’t have time to enjoy themselves,” explained lead designer Stewart James.

“Our new game respects that. You just log on, click on a loot chest and pay 79p to see what’s inside. The whole process takes a matter of seconds and then you can either close the game and come back for more tomorrow, or click on another chest to open that one.”

The loot chests will contain a wide variety of items.

“The loot chest can contain all sorts. We’ve had our best people coming up with really fun items. New colours for your character’s hat, an emoji that you can look at, some in-game currency which can be used to increase the amount of in-game currency you own, and a loot chest that costs 79p to open.”

Excitement about the new game appears to be spreading.

“I’m really looking forward to it,” said one gamer, “I’m bored of having my own money. This looks like a great way to not have any money anymore.”

Huge Pile of Loot Chests will be available from next month and will cost 79p or £8.69 with ten free loot chests.