New Disney film based on tombola at a village fete

Disney have announced a major new motion picture that will take its inspiration from a tombola stall at a village fete.

“Well, we’ve had some success with those films based on attractions at our theme parks – Pirates of the Caribbean and Jungle Cruise. So, you know, let’s do some more,” explained producer Stewart James.

“First idea was to base a film on that Toy Story ride, but then, that would just end up being Toy Story. Then we looked around a Disney theme park on a typical day to see what most people were doing and so we got a film about queuing into development, but nothing came of that.”

However, inspiration finally struck at a village fete.

“We were getting pretty desperate, and for a while it looked as if we might have to resort to trying to think of an original idea but then we organised a staff excursion to a fete at a village in Sussex, England.

“Man, the tombola was something else. You pay the guy. You grab a ticket from the hat. You unfold the ticket to see the number. Then, is that number a winning number? I mean, the excitement, the tension, the drama. It was just incredible. I loved every moment.

“My first thought was to go see the Disney theme park guys and tell them to get rid of that old-fashioned Space Mountain and put in a tombola instead. Then I figured, no, wait a minute here. Drama? Excitement? No real narrative structure? This is perfect for a new Disney film!

“We’ll have a guy with a tombola stall that then his customer and the customer wins a prize but it turns out to be a magical cursed tombola prize or something and it sends them back in time to a fete in the 12^th Century and they have to use their tombola skills to get back to their own time.

“Something like that.”

Tombola: Twist of Fete is currently in development and will almost certainly star The Rock as the guy on the tombola stall and then someone like Sophie Turner as the customer.