The forthcoming films in the Marvel Comic Universe are under threat after Microsoft decided to stop supporting their Paint software, destroying any chance of their films chances CGI content.
Marvel Studios President, Kevin Neeson, said, “This is truly awful news. Without Paint, there’s literally no way we can make another superhero film, unless it’s the one about Accountancy Man, which no one wants to see.
“I mean, obviously, there’s loads of fancy CGI software available for visual effects, but not only is it really, really expensive to buy but no-one in the film industry knows how to use any of it as it’s all far too complicated.
“What no-one seems to realise is that we’ve all used Paint for everything since it was released. Every single Marvel film’s effects was done in Paint, Jurassic Park was done in Paint. Even those groundbreaking, jaw-dropping effects you saw in Terminator 2: that was Paint too!
“Think about it: since Paint was released in the 80s, fancy graphics started ruling the movie industry. Lawnmower Man? Tron? Even that piano in The Piano was entirely CGI.”
There is reportedly consternation across the entire movie industry, as studios are terrified that this will mean an over-reliance on scriptwriters, something that was believed no longer necessary in the era of the big-budget summer blockbuster, and a species that has been hunted to near-extinction.
Experienced Visual Effect Supervisor, David Three-Pee-Oh, said, “Michael Bay is literally shitting his pants at this news. He is sitting there rocking and crying.”
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