Man Astonished to Discover No Film Has Been Made About a Gorilla Crossed with An Alligator

A man was left reeling yesterday when it became apparent that no one has made a film about a gorilla crossed with an alligator.

“I was blown away. It’s bizarre,” said Stewart James, a normal man who just wants to watch Gorillagator like the rest of us.

“It would be so great. A gorilla crossed with an alligator would just be such a brilliant thing to see. It would have the strength of, like, ten men, but it would also have these terrifying huge jaws that could clamp down on you.

“Or, you know, it could be the other way round and have the body of an alligator and swim silently through the water, but have the head of a gorilla so it could shout really loudly. No, that’s rubbish. The other way round.

“Come on though Hollywood. What’s going on? You’re making a sequel to Cliffhanger, but not Gorillagator? Sort yourselves out.”

Kelly Grace is a studio executive who was equally shocked to find out no such film exists.

“Well, that’s on us. I have no excuses,” she said. 

“Film has been an artform for well over a hundred years and yet no one’s made a film about a gorilla crossed with an alligator? I don’t know what we’ve been doing with ourselves. 

“We’ll get on it right away, I’ll get Nic Cage on a call and we’re going to get this sorted.”