Kevin Feige promoted to take charge of your imagination

Marvel boss Kevin Feige has been rewarded for the phenomenal success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with a promotion to take charge of your imagination.

It has long been considered that your imagination has been in a state of decline since reaching adulthood. Where once it produced rich fantasies about rescuing space princesses from Skeletor using a magic bike, your imagination’s most recent fantasy was about how much better your life would have been if you’d saved a finger from the Kit Kat you ate an hour ago.

If anyone can turn that around, it’s the man who brought the world Avengers: Endgame and, to a lesser extent, Iron Man 2.

“I’m thrilled with this new job,” explained Feige.

“I mean, it’s going to be difficult, I can’t deny that.

“I saw the other day, you had that dream about having a more interesting dream, so we’ve got a lot of work to do but hey, when I started at Marvel, they’d only done The Incredible Hulk and Howard the Duck, and we got that working.”

It is understood that Feige will begin reasonably slowly by directing your imagination to envision a world in which you have a much nicer breakfast cereal and your cat likes you, but will be expanding quickly.

“Hell yeah,” he laughed.

“Before long, we’ll have your imagination whipped into shape and you’ll be enjoying a rich fantasy life as President of a world of dogs or an intergalactic space-rockstar.”

It is expected that if his work on your imagination is as effective as it has been on the MCU, he will be promoted again to direct all of existence.

Which should sort everything out.