Jack Ryan Season 3 has been confirmed and will continue its subtle, nuanced examination of modern international intelligence operations with a plot about terrorists attempting to put a nuclear bomb up the President’s ass.
“What’s the most terrifying threat to the west in 2020?” asked producer Kelly Grace.
“A nuclear bomb.
“Where’s the most terrifying place terrorists could deploy a nuclear bomb? New York? Washington? The West Coast? No, it’s right up the President’s ass.
“It’s the biggest threat that Jack Ryan’s ever had to deal with.”
The series will begin with a suspiciously swarthy man becoming the President’s proctologist. Hiding the nuclear bomb under his doctor’s coat, he smuggles it into the White House with the intention of using a routine proctology exam to put it right up the President’s ass.
Meanwhile, Jack Ryan hears chatter about nuclear bombs and the President’s ass on the foreign internet and using all his powers of spying, manages to deduce the terrorists’ plan, leading to a frantic race to Washington to keep the President’s ass safe.
It has been rumoured that the Jack Ryan plots are based on real-life situations, but intelligence services refuse to confirm the fact in this instance.
“The CIA is unable to confirm or deny any ongoing terrorist plots to insert a nuclear device into the President’s anus,” said an agency operative.
Should Jack Ryan Season 3 prove as popular as the previous two seasons, then a fourth season has been planned that will see Jack race to foil a terrorist plot to put bubonic plague in the President’s breakfast while he’s at a G7 meeting, causing him to fart bubonic plague over all the other world leaders.
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