It’s the second weekend in January, and all New Year’s resolutions should be long forgotten. So, get yourself a bucket of Lambrusco and all the Ferrero Rocher you can muster and settle down to enjoy these great films.
Friday
The Bourne Supremacy ITV 23.05
Matt Damon duffs up a load of bad guys with various household objects – magazine, packet of fish fingers, sofa. Might feature Clive Owen, or that might be another one.
Goldeneye ITV4 20.00
Modern update of James Bond in which he blow-dries his hair before objectifying women and going on a killing spree.
Psycho Sony Movies Classic 21.00
Lady stays in disappointing motel.
Saturday
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Channel 4 18.20
Dwarves kidnap hobbit after staging home invasion and singing at him.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 MTV One 21.00
Grumpy vampires mope about to bad emo music.
The Smurfs Syfy 15.00
Horrible little blue bastards terrorise New York. Make your kids watch this if they’ve misbehaved.
Sunday
The Angry Birds Movie Sky Showcase 15.30
Proof humanity is doomed.
Robin Hood ITV4 21.00
Russell Crowe is unconvincing as Robin Hood. Doesn’t sing, and barely even makes the effort to look like a fox.
Cliffhanger Paramount 21.00
Sylvester Stallone beats up a mountain.
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