God of War called Jeff, lives in Basildon

God of War: Ragnarok has proven to be one of the most popular and critically acclaimed PlayStation games so far this generation, but little is known about the real life God of War, and exactly what his job entails.

Screen Idle can reveal that the God Of War is actually called Jeff, and lives in Basildon, Essex.

“Well, obviously, I spend a lot of time in the gym,” said Jeff.

“There is a certain aspect of my physique that is divine, but the rest is down to old-fashioned hard work.

“Plus, I got an online voucher for half-price membership to Virgin Active. Bonus.”

Fans will be surprised that the God Of War actually spends very little time on quests.

“Quests? Me? Oh not really,” he chuckles.

“No, there’s very little cause for quests in Basildon. I had to laugh when I saw the new game, the only real quests I have to do is occasionally pop to Asda.”

In terms of what the job of being God of War actually entails, the answer is a surprisingly prosaic one.

“Well, like most things nowadays, being God of War is mostly paperwork. I mean, all that battling dragons on mountains and bantering with magic dwarves? That’s not really representative of what I do.

“I spend most days in the office doing spreadsheets and if I do have to battle a dragon on a mountain, there’s so much health and safety involved, it’s not nearly as exciting as the game makes out.

“Truth is, being God of War is pretty much the same as any middle-management role in the modern workplace.”

God of War: Ragnarok is available on the PlayStation platform and, if rumours are believed, will soon feature some DLC in which players must use the God of War to create a credible PowerPoint presentation and report on his adventures in the first game.