Freak! Man who didn’t like film doesn’t even go on internet to tell everyone

A man has been branded a freak after it emerged that he watched a film and didn’t like it but then failed to go on the internet and bang on about his dislike in a variety of forums and Facebook groups.

“It was so weird,” said Kelly Grace, a friend of the man – Stewart James

“Stew was like, ‘yeah, I didn’t like it.’

“I was a bit taken aback, you know? Because I knew he’d watched it the weekend before last, he’d said so. So, that was, like, ten days. I follow him on Twitter, Facebook. I’m in the same subreddits as him, but he hadn’t posted anything. I was like ‘this guy must be some sort of freak’.”

For the vast majority of film fans, normal behaviour when one doesn’t like a film is going straight on the internet and posting a variety of posts in different places that begin ‘controversial opinion here, but I didn’t like…’ and then continuing on in a self-aggrandising manner that implies that by not liking the film, one is far cleverer than anyone who did like the film. The effect is even more potent when the film is popular.

“I don’t know. I thought I knew Stew. I thought he was a proper film fan, but how can he be when he doesn’t even go on the internet to wang on endlessly about not liking a film? That’s the best bit. I did it yesterday after I watched Vertigo and felt really important. He’s such a freak.”

It has also come to light that Mr James has never posted a ranked list of Marvel films or ranted about how the Guardian’s film reviews are rubbish. What a freak!