Fortnite is the most popular thing ever invented by anyone, ever and, in many countries, it is now illegal not to spend at least four hours a day playing the game.
So, before such legislation is introduced in Britain, get up to speed with our exclusive guide to all things Fortnite.
What is it?
A computer video game of killing.
Plot
One hundred hipsters land on an island and have to get an organic frozen yogurt bar up and running.
You can partner up with other players to create a fro-yo franchise or go it alone to conquer the market.
Just like real life though, other frozen yogurt bar owners will try and shoot you through the neck with magic arrows, so be sure to build a big castle round your frozen yogurt bar and make sure you’re always packing a massive bazooka.
Setting
Unspecified. Possibly Kent.
Gameplay
Briefly run around in circles, then get shot in the neck with a magic arrow.
History
Fortnite was originally a popular measure of time that equated to two weeks, however with the advent of 4k hyper-internet online artificial consciousness, today’s modern teenagers demanded more from their fortnite, and sure enough, in 2017 it was converted from a measure of time to a videogame.
Trivia
Everyone on the planet has played Fortnite, some unknowingly.
It is now available on every videogame format available, including the Commodore 64, timers on microwave ovens, and the Sheikah Slate.
Future
It is currently in the midst of a total conversion and next year will become the first videogame to be fully playable by dogs.
Not cats though, that would be stupid.
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