The new feminist, woke, snowflake, politically correct remake of an average film you remember from your childhood is being made with the sole intention of annoying you.
“Yeah, alright, I hold my hands up. There is no need to remake this classic film,” explained the director.
“Sure, there’s a bunch of stuff in the original that’s unacceptable by today’s standards, technology and societal changes mean that there’s a lot in it that modern audiences can’t relate to and, of course, it’s not actually very good and the only reason it’s still part of the cultural landscape is because of middle-aged men’s nostalgia.
“Still, we could have just let it be and cracked on with something new.
“But then, I noticed this guy on the internet, and he was going on about how it was a classic and he loved it, and so I figured it would be really good fun to remake it with the sole intention of annoying him.”
The director went on to detail the changes that will be made.
“Well, all the leads are now women, of course. There’s a really nice diversity amongst the cast, and the main character, who this guy on the internet really, really loved, is now gay. The whole thing is just more inclusive and respectful.
“It’s the sort of thing that normal people would barely raise an eye at, but this guy on the internet? Boy, is he going to flip.”
Naturally, you have seen the news of the remake and have immediately become furious, firing off several hundred tweets about how outrageous the remake is and how your childhood, which happened several decades ago, and is now fixed in time, is now ruined.
Asked if your anger and distress would cause plans to remake the film to be scrapped, the director simply burst out laughing.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
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