It’s the weekend! Time to take to the woods and dance naked around the fire until the spirit of Pan infuses your very being. Or you could watch these great films. Your call.
Friday
Thor: The Dark World BBC1 22.35
Magic space hippy has a weird day out in London
Godzilla GREAT! Movies 18.20
Giant radioactive sea lizard comes after an older Ferris Bueller for being a smug little git and getting his headmaster in trouble for just trying to do his job.
Shout out to Erica.
War for the Planet of the Apes Film4 21.00
Spiritual sequel to Any Which Way But Loose sees Clyde rise up and take over the world after years of riding around in a crappy truck with a grumpy cowboy.
Saturday
Armageddon ITV4 21.00
Bruce Willis saves the world by digging a big hole. No one says ‘armageddon outta here,’ which is, I think, a sad indictment of the state of the world.
Jerry Maguire W HD (This sounds like a haemorrhoid treatment cream) 21.00
Tom Cruise shouts until Cuba Gooding Jnr wins all the football
SHOWING THE MONEY!
Indecent Proposal 5* 23.20
Boring old nonsense about having sex with Demi Moore. Woody Harrelson just looks baffled throughout. Can’t blame him.
Sunday
The Wolf of Wall Street ITV4 22.50
Too much sniffing cocaine off bottoms, not enough wolves.
Finding Neverland GREAT! Movies 17.05
It was in the pocket of that jacket he sent off to be cleaned
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home FILM4 12.45
Future bastards steal a whale.
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