It’s the weekend and this time you’re not going to waste it lying on the sofa watching mediocre films.
Keep telling yourself that as you enjoy any of these mediocre movies whilst laying on the sofa.
Saturday
Steel Magnolias 5* 16.35
Ladies get their hair cut. Doesn’t end well.
Jaws ITV 22.50
Men go for a nice sing on a boat and get rudely interrupted by an unconvincing fish.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes Channel 4 23.45
Apes beat humans at war in terrifying dystopian vision about the perils of kindness to animals.
Sunday
Babe ITV 13.50
Heartwarming farm fantasy that will make you crave a bacon sandwich.
Super 8 Film4 18.45
Monster invades the eighties in classic Spielberg film made by someone else.
The Beaver Sony Movies 19.10
Absolute filth
Netflix Film of the Weekend
Smokey and the Bandit
Blockbuster entertainment from a time when Burt Reynolds was acceptable. Your weirdo Uncle’s favourite film.
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