It’s the weekend. Perhaps Lord Henry Hampton-DeWinter will be holding one of his magnificent balls (!). If you find yourself too overcome to attend, you could enjoy these great films instead.
Saturday
Avengers Assemble BBC1 23.00
Batman, Robin and all their friends get together to do banter and duff up some baddies.
Sicario Channel 4 22.25
Everyone is appalling to each other on the Mexican border.
We Bought a Zoo E4 13.00
Saturday afternoon landfill for people who don’t like football. Matt Damon buys a zoo and has vaguely amiable adventures.
Inferno Channel 5 22.30
Third in the popular series of films featuring Tom Hanks explaining the plot to an attractive woman in a picturesque European city.
Sunday
Labyrinth Channel 5 13.00
David Bowie sets out to conquer the world with nothing but some puppets and an enormous codpiece.
Total Recall Sony Movie Channel 16.45
Colin Farrell has his memories altered to make him forget that there was another, much better, version of this film made several years previously.
Impact Earth Horror Channel 08.00
Dan Righteous, an ex-pro football player and professor of weather, discovers that a massive lump of fire has broken off the sun and will crash to earth in 48 hours.
He spends the next two hours trying to convince those bureaucrats in charge that this is real, damn it, whilst simultaneously trying to get his son to safety and reconcile with his estranged, bra model, wife.
I mean, I haven’t checked, but it’ll be something like that.
New at the Cinema this weekend
Fisherman’s Friends
Story of a man with a sore throat who invents a sweet that’ll help sort it out.
DVD of the week
Groundhog Day
Grumpy weatherman spends eternity eating cake and torturing a rodent before getting off with his boss and making everything alright.
Be the first to comment