Planned HBO remake of Ever Decreasing Circles with swearing and nudity cancelled

There was disappointment at the announcement that planned HBO remake of classic eighties Richard Briars sitcom Ever Decreasing Circles, featuring full-frontal nudity and swearing, has been cancelled.

The big-budget remake had been set to star Christian Slater as Martin and a hot chick with no bra as Ann.

The slick neighbour Paul had yet to be cast, but there were rumours that Bruce Willis had been circling the role and that rather than being an urbane hairdresser, Paul would have been an unhinged hitman for the mob.

“It’s a damn shame,” said Penny Egan, a producer attached to the remake.

“This could have been a classic HBO property. We had a whole bunch of nudity and swearing lined up, and that was a really hot chick with no bra.

“There was a season-long arc about the neighbour guy – Paul – having a bunch of sex with Ann and then Martin descending into a homicidal insanity as he realised.

“Which is pretty much the plot of the original. Except with less sensible knitwear.”

It is currently unknown exactly why the plans for the Ever Decreasing Circles remake had collapsed but rumours seem to indicate that it was because the whole thing was ‘completely f**king ridiculous.’

There was good news for fans of classic seventies Richard Briars sitcom The Good Life, however, as the HBO remake began filming with a scene featuring Sean William Scott and Halle Berry, both completely naked, as Tom and Barbara arguing about the ‘f**king marrows’ before shooting the goat in the face.