Petition for Bruce Willis to release ‘Return of Bruno II’ gets second signature

An online petition calling on Bruce Willis to record a follow-up to his 1987 album Return of Bruno has received its second signature.

Created in 2014, the petition reads as follows.

‘We the undersigned respectfully request that Bruce Willis does a new record with bitching songs like Going Under the Broad Walk.’

It was set up by John Crowe, a Bruce Willis fan who claims to have had no episodes of insanity in his life.

“Look, man, I’m not an idiot,” claimed Crowe, unconvincingly.

“Bruce is a busy man making those films that end up on DVDs in the 99c bucket in 7/11, so I guess he’s not got time to make a new record.

“But you never know, man. If he sees just how many fans are ready for Return of Bruno II then maybe he’ll make time.”

Return of Bruno was a concept album that featured Willis playing the role of ‘Bruno,’ a barman who couldn’t sing and so spent 45 minutes shouting the lyrics to Motown songs whilst session musicians played in the background.

“It was a classic, man,” insists Crowe.

“And with the petition really taking off now, a follow-up could really happen.”

The second signatory of the petition has just used the name ‘Malcolm,’ however investigations have traced the IP address of ‘Malcolm’ to a computer in Bruce Willis’s home.

Mr Willis has so far declined to comment.