New series of Bake-off to focus on gritty, harsh reality of street-baking

In a surprise decision, it has been announced that the new series of Great British Bake-off will focus on street-baking and the harsh, gritty life that goes with it.

The nice tent in a field will be abandoned, and the competition will take place under a bridge, next to a canal in downtown Birmingham.

“Street-baking is a fact of life, and to keep ignoring it is ridiculous,” said Bake-off producer Anna Beattie.

“You have these bakers, some no more that sixteen, illicitly baking in back alleys, abandoned zoos, and laybys on major motorways.

“They can put together a tray of Chelsea buns, or an oversized cream horn in a matter of minutes and then disappear into the night before the police even know they were there.”

The new series will focus on street-baking skills such as all-weather sifting, street oven camouflage and basic combat techniques to defend your baking area from rival bakers.

“This is quick and nasty baking, there’s nothing cosy here, nothing comforting,” claimed Beattie.

“It’s in-your-face, confrontational. It’s street-baking and it doesn’t care what you think.”

The decision to try the new direction comes in the wake of the controversial The Great British Sewing Bee on Drugs and, as part of the ‘gritty reality’ fad, is understood that the BBC is already planning Strictly Come Dancing with Swearing.