Hopes high that new moody French arthouse film will feature nudity

Optimism is currently extremely high that a new moody French arthouse film will feature some nudity.

“Well, we can’t be sure until we actually see it,” said Robert Newman, a professor of European film and, consequently, one of Britain’s leading experts on nudity.

“But it’s French, it’s moody, it’s arthouse. I’m confident that we’re going to see some boobies and bums.

“There is possibly even the chance of some willies and fannies.

“I mean, who’s going to watch a moody French arthouse film unless it features nudity? It’s just common sense.”

There is currently little known about the film other than a few clips of grumpy-looking people smoking in the rain.

“Oh yes, I would have thought the majority of the film will be grumpy-looking people smoking in the rain, interspersed with old men looking at old photos and crying but then hopefully we’ll get some boobies.”

The name of the moody French arthouse film is currently unknown.

“Oh crumbs, you know I haven’t even checked,” said Professor Newman

“I’d imagine it’ll be something like Ennui or Terrible Beauty, or even The Eternal Flowering of My Spring, they love that sort of thing in France.

“Who cares! Boobies!”