Fans of hitman franchise John Wick have been on tenterhooks, awaiting news of the next instalment that will follow John Wick 4: Definitely the Final John Wick Ever, Promise which was released to great acclaim in 2023.
We are therefore proud to EXCLUSIVELY reveal that John Wick: Chapter 5, the latest instalment of the John Wick saga, will feature John Wick shooting all the men with his guns.
“No one knows this yet, right, they’re really trying to keep this secret until the film comes out,” said a studio insider who asked not to be named, and then went on to reveal a variety John Wick: Chapter 5 titbits in return for two pints of Stella and a bag of nuts.
“John Wick: Chapter 5, right, will feature John Wick – Keanu Reeves, right, with the hair and everything – and he goes about everywhere and he shoots all the other men. The other men have got guns and everything, right, and they try to shoot John Wick, but they’re not as good at shooting as John Wick is so they all miss.”
Excitingly, the film may also feature John Wick punching some men as well.
“Yeah, so John Wick shoots them all, all the men, right, but sometimes, before he shoots them, he punches them as well. You know, really hard, in the face.”
Next Week: Screen Idle exclusively reveals that The Batman Part II will be quite dark, Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning II features a mission that turns out to be possible, and the next Transformers film will be bloody awful.
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Now learn how to be funny before you try again.
Thanks man. Don’t forget to like and subscribe for more side-splitting larks
That
The “studio insider” sounds like a retard.
lol
article was as good as the title
well done