In 3150 BC, it wasn’t called Egypt, it was called Ancient Egypt, and it was in this mysterious land that movies were invented.
"I think there is something really wrong with the screening I saw! The whole screen was fuzzy right through the whole showing! "
"If this sounds confusing from a cinematic point of view then please rest assured that everything will fall into place"
Vin Diesel will play Gwyndaf Jones, a struggling hill farmer secretly in love with Myfanwy the post-mistress – played by the Rock
Every initial cinema release will now by advertised as ‘beta’ and retroactively fix glaring continuity issues, plot holes and disastrous miscastings.
“Our first thought was, we remake it for 2018? You know, have Ed Sheeran play the girl and the kids from Stranger things standing on each other’s shoulders playing the beast."
Although set largely on another planet at a point in the future, the film is more relevant to how we live our lives today than films about how we live our lives today.
"Without Paint, there’s literally no way we can make another superhero film, unless it's the one about Accountancy Man"
Set at 20.49 on a Sunday night at an undisclosed time in the future, Deckard and Ryan Gosling’s Officer K are both big fans of Poldark and looking forward to it starting as usual at 9pm on Sunday evening.
“We thought that with Sergio looking for authenticity, he’d head out to Montana or Texas or somewhere, but he’d seen Brighton in Carry On At Your Convenience and was convinced that it was the perfect fit for Once Upon A Time In The West.”