Dead Sheeran! – Ed plans to continue touring after his death as a GHOST

ed sheeran dead in concert singing with an accoustic guitar
An artist's impression of Ed Sheeran performing after his death

Ed Sheeran is one of the most successfully popstars in the world and he has no plans to let his inevitable death affect his huge popularity.  A ground-breaking project is underway that will allow the ghost of Ed Sheeran tour the world for eternity after he sadly dies.

“I just thought, what’s the point in just hanging round haunting people,” explained the Shape of You hitmaker.

“I mean, if you’re going to spend your whole afterlife as a ghost, well, why not go on tour and just do a solid greatest hits set until the end of time?”

The ground-breaking project, whilst incredibly exciting, has provided Ed’s team with some serious challenges.

“Well, the biggest problem will be that I’ll be incorporeal. I’ll have no material existence. That will make it really difficult to hold a guitar.

“Then there’s the issue of summertime – the evenings are still light and ghosts obviously don’t come out until its dark. That means that these concerts will have to start really late which is going to be a problem for my younger fans or those who have to start work early the following day.

“And, of course, there’s always the threat of some form of exorcism that would banish me from the mortal realm, although we’re fairly confident that, unless I become diabolical, I should be okay.”

Happily, Ed and his team are confident that these problems will be overcome and that a spectral tour could be ready to go as soon as six months after he died.

“If I didn’t have to die, I’d be really looking forward to it,” he continued.

“Touring as a ghost will be really exciting. Ground-breaking. No one’s ever done it before.”

There is currently no word on how the supporting bill will function.

“One thing we have been looking at is how the Ancient Egyptians used to bury their servants alive with the person who’d just died.

“We could do something like that. Perhaps bury Arlo Parks, or Griff, or Celeste or someone like that actually in with me and then they would become my support act for eternity.”

Ed’s fans seemed largely excited about the plans, although there were some concerns.

“It’s great that Ed will continue touring after his death, but what if he starts getting some really big celestial bookings with some angels or even God? He might forget about us; his corporeal fans,” said Sheeran fan Kelly Grace.

“I just hope he remembers to keep his feet on the ground. As much as you can when you’re insubstantial.”

*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’

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